I'm still alive and considering make a proper return to blogging.

I seem to be making a habit of only blogging once every few years, don't I?

I hope you are all keeping well and that some of you might still be somehow following my little blog, so if you are, 'hello' and I'm sorry for disappearing all the time.

To update you, I'm still with Paul. We haven't re-married again but we are together and we still have our mutual arrangement that I can sleep with others to satisfy myself when he's away.

Esme is now eight years old and is the apple of my eye. She even looks like me, which is a godsend because if she looked like Philip, it'd be somewhat difficult to explain away as everyone thinks she is Paul's apart from those close enough to know our secrets.

We now own and live on a small 'hobby' farm near the Wirral, moving here to be close to a good school for the children while still being in a beautiful rural area. Paul still works abroad but only for around half of the year. The pandemic has cut down the amount of travel he can do and he's happier being in the UK for longer these days as he gets older.

I'm happy and healthy, despite contracting Covid.19 during the summer of 2019, as is Paul and our three children and I've got lots of naughty stories to share with you, despite having a take an enforced break from being 'naughty' during the lock down. I'll share a story about how desperately lonely and horny I became last year during what ended up as a seventeen month hiatus from sex with anyone except for Paul, who was also stranded abroad for a long time and forced into quarantine twice on his returns.

However, since beginning to see new men in August, I've already added two new regular lovers to my resume, including the biggest and thickest penis I've ever had, which is something else I need to write down in my diaries at some stage (and of course, share with you.)

I'd planned to restart this blog in 2018 after finally getting the okay from Paul to do so - as explained in one of my previous posts from that time - but never went on to do as much with it as I would have liked due to a lack of response from the general public, so we will try again and see what happens.

I've now set up my Google Mail and am trying to learn about what has changed since I first began all of this, in the world of social media and all things 'worldwide web and internet' so see how else I can interact with people interested in my life and my adventures but until then, this will be the main point of contact for me.

As I said before, I hope you're all keeping well and hopefully I'll be posting some stories and pictures on here for you very soon!

xxx

Claire

I'm excited!

Got young Oliver coming over shortly for some afternoon delight. My first playdate since I restarted posting on here. I've been slacking - I know! Need to up my game!

Do people on here prefer just photos, or the stories, or both?

#hotwife #slutwife #horny

So what happened to me?

I was blogging fairly regularly up until 2013, and then suddenly - just like that - I disappeared. So what happened?

If you were following me at the time, you’ll have seen that I was enjoying a very indulgent and luxurious situation with a handful of regular lovers (including Philip and Teddy), a wonderful husband (Paul) who was aware of my dalliances but chose to turn a blind eye to it, as long as I was careful not to bring any trouble or scandal to the business or our family home, and I had to ensure that everyone’s identities were protected and kept out of the limelight.

The problem was that as my online following grew, Paul, my husband became increasingly uncomfortable with the situation, even though I’d never used anything more than people’s first names, and always kept faces and any distinguishing features or places out of shot on any pictures that I’d posted. Then one of my play partners, Edward (also called Teddy), became aware of my online activities and asked me to desist. I didn’t stop altogether, but I did blog more about my past than about my present and future.

However, then everything went horribly wrong, horribly fast.

I fell pregnant.

I still have no idea how it happened, I was on the contraceptive implant and had been for a while. I wasn’t due to have another implant for another three months and yet after I had a weird spotting for a few weeks, and that familiar feeling of ‘something being up’ - I did a test, and it came back positive.

The first thing I did was tell Paul. Which was a mistake. He’d been in Australia, Vietnam and the US for the past three months, and we’d barely made love at all even when he was home. With the timing, he knew it wasn’t his, and he was, understandably furious.

At the time, I was in somewhat of a lull (for me); out of my five regular playmates, I was only sleeping with one for various reasons, my husband’s Uncle Philip. When I told Paul who it was, he became even angrier.

Things couldn’t have been worse. Of course, we had the option of abortion. I’m not going to tell you my exact age, but while I wasn’t ‘too old’ to have a baby, I already had two kids and we were happy with that. I didn’t want more. However, the idea of abortion has always seemed abhorrent to me. I’m not going to get into a discussion of the rights and wrongs of abortion. That’s a very personal subject to many people. But at this time, despite Paul wanting to discuss it, I couldn’t bring myself to abort the baby.

I knew it was awkward, with Philip being family, and yet somehow in my mind, that made it a little easier. I didn’t know how Phil would react, so I didn’t tell him straight away that it was his, although we did tell him, and my other lovers that I was pregnant and we made the decision for me to stop seeing any of them for a while.

It wasn’t really a ‘we’ decision. Paul insisted on it. He’d always told me he was happy for me to sleep with other men. He knew he wasn’t well-endowed enough for me, and that he wasn’t ever going to be able to keep me and my appetites satisfied, especially with him travelling around the globe as he does, so it had been a convenient arrangement but somehow, even though this was an accident, he blamed me for it. He didn’t want another child, but much more than, the fact that I was pregnant with another man’s child and I wasn’t going to get rid of it for him or our marriage felt like a betrayal, much more so than me being intimate with other men outside of our marriage.

So, we made an agreement. I would stop seeing other men, we’d pretend to everyone, even Philip, that the child was his, to save him embarrassment, and we would try to make it work. But all of this caused resentment in me, which added to the hurt in his heart and to say that things were impossible would be understating it hugely.

After six heartbreaking months of arguments, self-doubt, and loneliness due to Paul still having to work, my frustrations got the better of me. Although I hadn’t been sleeping with any of my play friends, I was still friends with him, especially Teddy, the oldest and wisest of them, and he invited me over to his restaurant as he often did. I went, just expecting to have a nice dinner and talk with him for some company, but somehow he ended up taking me to his house and even though I was six months along, and had a considerable bump (and huge breasts to go with it), he fucked me all night.

I shouldn’t have given in to my frustration but it was more than that. Paul had been distant with me, and I needed some love and cuddles as much, if not even more than I needed the sex. It was just one night. I thought it would be fine. There would be no way Paul would find out. But he did. I had no idea that he’d done it, but he’d put some tiny cameras in the house, to keep an eye on me while I was away. Even Cerys, our nanny didn’t know.

The following morning he called me, asking me where I’d been during the night. He told me about the cameras, and that he’d seen that I hadn’t come home. I was so angry at being spied on that I told him the truth. I need some company, some love, some affection and that I’d made a mistake and spent the night at Teddy’s. He told me it was over. He wanted a divorce. It was broken and couldn’t be fixed.

I was utterly heartbroken. He let me keep the house, we agreed a way forward regarding a regular income for me and access for him to the children, and just two months later, I signed the divorce papers and that was it.

Two months after that, I had the baby. A beautiful little girl, who I still called Esme, a name that Paul and I had decided upon together, despite us no longer being married. She brought me so much joy; she was a light in the darkness, but it didn’t stop me from becoming deeply depressed. I hadn’t slept with anyone since that night with Teddy, partly out of choice but also because I became so big during the last few months that it was impossible and due to a difficult birth, I wasn’t in any fit state to have sex for quite a while. Added to that the fact that I’d put on a lot of weight and couldn’t bear to let anyone see me naked.

I’d lost my husband, my lovers, most of my friends due to not being able to explain to them the real reason for my divorce, and even the little hobby of my blog.

It was an awful time, but eventually, I managed to lift myself out of it. It took Cerys and Teddy a long time to convince me, but they did encourage me to start going to the gym, to get my figure back by eating healthier, to go out and shop and treat myself to some nice things rather than spend everything on the children and slowly, my confidence came back and I started to feel like the old me again. I slept with Teddy a few times during that spell, but I didn’t ever want him to get too close and think that we might ever be a couple. He’s a lovely man, but thirty years older than me and not someone I’ve ever been able to spend that much time in his company without him irritating me with his funny little ways. So I kept him at arms’ length while making sure I was being a friend to him like he was to me, and not just using him.

Then I began dating. I’ll save that three years of my life for another series of blogs because there’s a lot to tell. A lot of dates. A lot of complete failures. A lot of one night stands. Several men that saw second and third dates. Numerous men that lasted longer than that. And two men who I called a boyfriend for a long while. The second of whom, as we broke up, decided to spill the secret that I’d shared with him, that Philip is Esme’s father.

Phil was shocked at first, then angry at not being told that he had a young daughter, essentially missing out on the first four years of her life, but he did eventually come to understand my reasons why. And in the end, it turned out to be a good thing, because he contacted Paul, his nephew, to ask him why he hadn’t told him when we’d split up.

That brought Paul and me face-to-face for our first proper talk in a long time. We’d spoken regularly, of course, to discuss the children and seen each other at handover times, but we’d not talked properly. Not like this. About the repercussions of our actions. About our feelings.

We’d loved each other deeply once. The kind of love that never goes away. When we’d split up, anger had been the overriding emotion. Anger, frustration, humiliations, shame, all of these feelings had ruined us at the time, but that was four years ago. Those intense emotions were all in the past now. And for whatever reason, as Paul and I began to talk about how to handle the situation with Phil and how to move forward now more people were learning about the truth of why we’d divorced, somehow we reconnected.

Paul had dated a couple of women while we’d been apart, but he’d never been the most highly sexed man anyway and hadn’t found anyone he cared for. I’d been with dozens of men, which I told him about candidly and he appreciated my honesty. Then, unbelievably, after we’d confessed that we still had feelings for each other and the fact that maybe that was why we’d never moved on, we went to bed and had sex.

It was surreal. Somehow, despite everything that had happened, several years apart with barely any emotional conversations or connection, we just fell back together almost instantly. The moment he was inside me, I remembered why I’d always still enjoyed making love to him, despite his shortcomings when compared to my lovers.

Because he’s the one. My one. There’s just something about Paul that I love; that indefinable quality that I can’t quite put my finger on. Some would say we’re soulmates. I don’t know, but it’s definitely there. Even after all we’d been through, all the time apart, it was still there. The two jigsaw pieces that just fit together perfectly.

I’m not going to write paragraphs upon paragraphs on how we got back together. He wanted it. I wanted it. The kids wanted it. Even Cerys wanted it. The only resistance we met was from Paul’s Uncle, who was just getting used to the idea of being a father, so that put a spanner in the works, we talked it over, the three of us, in a very awkward conversation over dinner at Teddy’s restaurant who even took on the job of being a mediator, if we needed it.

There were a lot of things to sort out before we could move back in together, and give our relationship a second chance. Just because Paul had exploded back into my life, didn’t mean that he would be able to keep me satisfied this time around. I’d learned a lot, but that side of me hadn’t changed. He hadn’t suddenly become Superman in the bedroom either and his dick hadn’t grown by four inches. So, we had to be realistic. If we did this, he would sooner or later have to accept the fact that I would get frustrated and horny and wanted a lover. Could he handle that?

How would we deal with Phil being Esme’s father? He wanted a role in her life, and I wasn’t going to deny him that. Could Paul be a stepfather to her, with no resentment and be a positive figure in her life?

Finally, the cat was out of the bag with a lot of people now, about what kind of relationship Paul and I had been in during our marriage, the rumours that he’d been a willing cuckold were rife and almost as common was the knowledge that I was a dirty slut or a cheating housewife, however you choose to see it. How could we get back together and get our lives back on track with that looming over us?

But we found answers. Paul agreed to let me take lovers, as I had before, but with the promise to be even more careful than before and to be absolutely honest with each other about our feelings and whereabouts at all times. He agreed to take on Phil’s child, even though I could tell he found that difficult. Philip has full access and has Esme every fortnight, but the rest of the time, Paul treats her like he’s his own child. I know he finds it humiliating at times, with some of his friends being aware that he’s raising another man’s child from an affair that she had, but we changed a large circle of our friends and avoided the scrutiny of our neighbours by moving. We still live in Cheshire, but thirty miles from where we were before, further from Manchester than what we were before.

I’m still in touch with some of my old playmates, and I’ve got several new ones, including one of the boyfriends that I made during my marriage hiatus, and another guy that I fucked in that time who was quite memorable and I decided to see again. I’ll detail all of them more as I get back into the swing of blogging.

Which of course is that last part of this post. As I got back into being a hotwife, and life began to get back to something approaching normal with Paul and I (it’ll never quite be normal again), I told him I wanted to write again. That I enjoyed blogging back then, making new friends and some new lovers, and that I’d like to give it another go.

I’d stopped for all of the above reasons - life takes on new priorities when your marriage breaks up, and when everything changes, so do you, but it’s funny how often you come back to where you started.

So this is a new start. Five years after my last proper post, I hope you’ll follow this journey with me again as I write my book about my life experiences.

And hopefully, this time, nothing will go wrong and stop me.

Well, that took longer than anticipated...

So, after 5 years of enforced hiatus, one divorce, a baby and a reconciliation later, I thought maybe it’s time to have another go at ‘conquering the internet’ again. Does anyone still follow this blog? Let me know…

If so, I'll explain why I had to remove myself (see the above) and hopefully, we can get the ball rolling again on this little hobby of mine.

xxx

Claire

From My Diaries #2: "Before Curvy Claire: Part 4"

From My Diaries #2: "Before Curvy Claire"

Part 4

I never mentioned money or anything when Colin answered. I simply said I was lonely, which to be honest, was the truth. He was really happy to hear from me, he said, and not just for the obvious reasons. He was going through a tough time with his family at the moment, and could do with a night out or something, so we agreed to go out for something to eat the next day.

Colin took me to his favourite restaurant, a short drive away into North Wales - a beautiful country hotel with views of Snowdonia in the distance and I had a surprisingly good time. It wasn’t sleazy. He told me about the problems he was having at home, his son was treating him and his wife like an asshole which in turn was causing problems with his marriage because the boy’s mother, Colin’s ex-wife was getting involved. In turn, I poured my heart out to Colin on how difficult college was, and how with all the study leading up to my first exams, I hardly got any time to myself. Somehow by the end of the meal, we had both cheered each other up no end, and then while Colin was making me laugh with some silly joke, he turned serious and asked me if I’d like to go up to one of the hotel rooms with him for a bit of private time together.

I remember it took me a few moments to summon up the courage to say ‘Okay’ because I felt so nervous and it was a strange feeling knowing I was agreeing to go and have sex with him. Colin had done a good job of relaxing me however, and also I knew that I couldn’t really say no. This was what we’d come out here for. I knew that, and Colin knew that I knew it. At least he spared me the embarrassment of making me admit it.

We finished the meal, paid the bill then once he’d arranged a room, he took my hand like we were a couple and headed up the stairs. A couple of the other diners glanced at us and I guessed that they knew what we were going upstairs for. A young blonde girl with an obviously wealthy man old enough to be her grandfather. It didn’t stop me though, in fact if anything, it gave me a slightly naughty thrill.

Colin’s easy-going manner changed once we were in the room. “Alone at last,” he said to me with a smile, then he drew me by the hand to the bed, and without saying anything further, he began to undo the buttons on my top. I had no idea what to do, so I just stood there and let him remove my top. He didn’t remove my bra because I remember that along with my hold-ups they were the only thing I was left wearing. My skirt came down, and my knickers, and then he slowly turned me all the way around to look at me. It was a new experience, being looked at in this way and I wasn’t sure I liked it, but what could I do?

I felt really exposed because Colin was still fully dressed. He hadn’t even taken his shoes off yet, but I didn’t really get the chance to say anything as he pushed me forwards so that I was bent over, still standing up and he eased my legs apart a little. I expected him to at least look at my breasts, but he never took the bra off. Instead, he seemed obsessed with my pussy.

He told me I should shave it bald for him next time, and I can remember thinking how presumptuous he was that there would be a ‘next time’ but again I didn’t really get chance to respond because he knelt down and started to ‘examine’ me from behind. I looked down between my at him. The old man was pulling me open and pushing a finger slowly in and out of me. The ‘dirtiness’ of it took my breath away; being stripped and explored like this by a man much, much older than me. I felt a bit like a whore, and much to my surprise, it turned me on.

Colin played with my clit and licked me from behind, until I was so wet and so horny that I was within moments of begging him to fuck me, but I didn’t need to. Eventually I felt him stand up and heard his zip go and his trousers come down. I half-turned and saw him rolling a condom onto his fully-erect penis and then his hands were on my hips and his hard cock was inside me.

An odd memory is of the silver foil condom wrapper on the floor between my feet and then I had to lean on to the bed for support, because Colin was again hard and physical with me. He even alternated between pushing my face into the bed and pulling it back by the hair, which I didn’t like so much, but the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of me and the whole scenario of what I was doing was such a turn on that I just went with it.

Just when I didn’t think I could take any more, he rolled me onto my back on the bed, took the rest of his clothes off as I got my breath back and then joined me. He knelt between my thighs, shoved his cock back into me, pushing my legs right back and stared right into my eyes as he started to have sex with me again.

“Rub your cunt again,” he said - the only words either of us said throughout the entire time we spent in the room - and I did it without hesitation. My clit was throbbing and I needed the release and once I felt myself orgasm, Colin’s own climax followed soon after. He pushed really deep into me and then I felt the pulsing feeling of his cock filling the condom inside my pussy.

He lay down on the bed next to me, rolled me over and kissed me softly and tenderly, which felt wonderful, and then after he’d taken off and disposed of the condom, we climbed into the bed and cuddled and dozed for a little while, before it was time to go home. He offered to stay the night with me, but I had college the next day and didn’t want the questions that I would inevitably get from my parents at staying out unannounced, so we headed home.

In the car we talked. Colin told me he wanted to buy me a gift for such a wonderful evening, but I didn’t have anything in mind at all. I told him that I hadn’t ‘done tonight’ for a present or something. I had been truthful when I said I was lonely and wanted some company.

Colin looked at me and smiled that very handsome smile again. “No need to be shy, Claire,” he said. For some reason my pulse was racing. “You were horny. Just say it.”

I didn’t say anything. I just blushed and looked away, but he made me say it. Colin pulled the car up and turned off the engine. We were still several miles from home. “Say it, Claire. We’re not going anywhere until we do.”

“Okay,” I said quietly, “I was... horny.” My face felt so hot I thought it might burst into flame at any moment.

“Did you enjoy old Colin fucking you?” When I nodded, he made me say it.

“I enjoyed you... fucking me,” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth but I had to say it - he wouldn’t take me home until I did.

“I loved fucking you too, you sexy little slut,” he said. The word ‘slut’ caught me by surprise but he said it in such a charming and inoffensive way that it didn’t seem a bad thing. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

But the night wasn’t quite at an end. When he drove down the drive that led to my house, he said he had one more thing to ask of me. He parked right at the foot of the drive, not ten feet from the front door and the windows into the living room. The curtains were drawn but the lights were still on, so mother or father were still up, probably watching television and waiting for me to get in.

“Tonight was good, but I really can’t get last time out of my head,” he said quietly.

“What do you mean?” I said, but I soon gathered what he was talking about as he undid his trousers.

“The blow job you gave me in the car?” he said, pulling his shorts down. “You’re a good fuck. Your pussy is nice and tight, but I can’t help thinking how good it felt when you sucked me last time.”

His penis was hard again as he put my hand on it and told me to wank and suck him before I went home but I said I was too scared to. What if someone looked out of the window and saw us? What if mother or father came outside for any reason? It wasn’t unfeasible that one of them would come outside to empty the bin or for some other reason and then they would easily see us, parked up on the foot of the drive.

“They won’t come out,” he said, “Stop worrying and just do it.” My hand was already pumping up and down him. “Besides, the risk makes it more exciting. Live a little, Claire.”

I took one last look at the window, willing the lights to go off so I would know that my parents had gone to bed, then shifted in the passenger seat as Colin lowered the seats back and took him in my mouth, licking and sucking the tip like I’d done last time.

“Good girl,” he kept saying as I sucked his cock the best I could. Hurry, I remember thinking, hurry up before someone sees us. My heart was beating rapidly the whole time, in fact I was so anxious that I hadn’t thought about what was going to happen next. Colin stiffened and his hand went to the back of my head before I could react. Then I felt his cock twitch and suddenly I had a mouthful of a warm, salty fluid.

I gagged horribly at the taste and the sensation of his penis spurting against the roof of my mouth and I was equally alarmed at how loud Colin’s grunts were. All I could think of was the thought of my father looking out of the window and seeing his friend ejaculating into his daughter’s mouth.

When Colin finally let go out of my head, I groped for the door handle, yanking it open as I found it and then spitting the sperm out onto the floor outside.

“I thought you said you’d sucked lots of dicks,” Colin asked, “I had you down as a swallower.”

“You caught me a bit by surprise,” I said quickly, wiping my chin and looking at the window anxiously. No one was there. I’d gotten away with it. “I just wasn’t expecting you to cum so quickly.”

“You’re really good at it,” Colin smiled, fastening himself up, “I couldn’t hold back any longer.”

For some reason, I found myself thanking him and then giving him a kiss on the cheek as he left and then when I went in to find my mother still awake watching a DVD, I was paranoid about getting too close to her for fear that she might smell Colin’s cum on my breath or somehow detect that I’d had sex.

Looking back, I was having my first episodes of being submissive to a more dominant man. I didn’t know it at the time of course - I didn’t know what ‘normal’ was or have any idea what to expect from a man really, I was still learning. I met Colin one final time - a similar encounter in a hotel room where he fucked me doggy style and then made me suck him to climax outside the house again, and in return I received numerous presents. Perfumes, jewellery and a beautiful pair of designer shoes which I mentioned I’d seen in a boutique in Chester but that was it because not long after that, I met the man who was destined to become my husband.

From My Diaries #2: "Before Curvy Claire: Part 3"

From My Diaries #2: "Before Curvy Claire"

Part 3

Howard and I ‘dated’ for a couple of months - starting with the cinema that week, although I think we completely missed the film as we had our lips locked together for most of it - and we went for McDonalds and a KFC, after both of which we snogged each other’s faces off and had our hands down each other’s pants. Then one night we went ice skating, which was fantastic despite me being terrible at it, and I’d set it up so that I could take him home afterwards.

My parents were out all night, and I’d asked Donna to make herself scarce which she’d agreed to as long as I promised to behave myself. I’d even visited the local family planning clinic and been given a huge paper bag full of condoms. I was prepared, mentally and physically for sex, and I really wanted to do it, so that night as soon as we got through the door, I kissed him and dragged him to my bedroom.

It was the first time he’d been in my room, so he took a few minutes to look around and commented on the decoration and such, but I could tell he was just stalling - probably because he was nervous - so I told him to come over and feel how comfy the bed was. Howard sat next to me and bounced up and down a few times, saying it was lovely and soft and then I began to undo the buttons on my top and gave him the sexiest smile I could.

It worked; he smiled back at me, and started to undress himself. That was the first time I realised how hard it is for a man to undress sexily. It’s easy for us girls, but men often make a total hash of it, just like Howard did. He took his shirt off first, then his trousers so that he had his boxer shorts and socks on - which just isn’t a good look for a man, trust me. Even worse, he pulled his boxers off first, so he was stood there in just his socks while he watched me undo my bra then he even tried to follow me under the covers with them on. I stopped him and asked him to take them off, and then when we were finally snuggled up naked together under my big heavy duvet, I slipped my panties down and got on top of him.

We kissed, and then I reached down for his penis, to try and put it in me. I was already wet and horny but to my surprise, he wasn’t getting hard. I’d noticed that his dick was still soft when he’d taken his shorts down but I thought he’d get hard once we started kissing under the covers. However, he hadn’t, so I rolled off and played with him for a few minutes until finally I felt him starting to stiffen but then as I finally got him fully hard again, he began to push my head down again under the covers.

“Okay,” I said to him, “But don’t cum. I want you.”

“I won’t,” Howard promised, urging me downwards, “Please do it though.”

I threw the covers off us, so we were both totally bare and slid down the bed to suck him again. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy going down on him - I did, it felt really naughty and really rewarding again to hear him moan at how good it felt - but I really wanted to have sex too. I licked and sucked him for a while, but as he started to get more and more excited, I stopped and reached in the drawer beside my bed for a condom.

“What are you doing?” he asked as I unwrapped the condom, so I threw the empty silver foil packet at him in response. His eyes widened as he realised what it was, and then I began to tricky task of putting the rubber on him. I’d actually done this in school - in sex education, the teacher had shown us how to put a condom on a banana - but doing it in real life was much trickier. I managed to get the condom the right way around, then finally managed to unroll it down Howard’s length, and I looked at the completed and ready dick with pride.

“Fuck me,” I said, rolling onto my back and spreading my legs wantonly. I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment but I was that horny I just didn’t care. Howard stared at my pussy for a moment, then rolled towards me, kissing me and feeling my breasts and finally, after what seemed like an age, he slid his body over me and began to clumsily try and point his dick into me.

I felt the end pushing against my labia, but it kept sliding up my slit and over my clit, which was throbbing, so I reached down and took hold of it to help him guide it in. But just as the end started to push against me, I felt it suddenly twitch and Howard groaned into my ear.

No way. He hadn’t, had he?

He had. “I came,” he sighed as he sagged against me. His cock did actually go inside me a little way but then it popped out and he rolled off, giggling to himself. I think Howard thought he’d fucked me, but in my mind, he definitely hadn’t. I certainly don’t count his dick going one inch inside me as losing my virginity. I have no idea whether or not I still had a hymen back then - probably not with doing my horse riding and being quite an active girl - but I don’t think he would have broken it even if I had. There certainly wasn’t any discomfort or blood.

I was so disappointed. “Is that it?” I blurted, rather bluntly perhaps, but I simply couldn’t believe it.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still quite breathless. “Can I do something to you?”

I pointed at his wilted penis. The full condom was hanging from it, which looked quite funny. “What are you going to do? That’s useless to me now.”

I was probably being quite bitchy, but I was angry now. Howard pulled the condom off and threw it on the floor, which made me yell at him - I didn’t want sperm all over my carpet! - but he told me to relax, and pushed me back as I started to sit up.

“Trust me,” he said, and I looked at him confused for a moment, before realising what he was going to do as he positioned himself between my legs, sliding down the bed and trailing several little kisses down my body until he kissed my mound. I’d trimmed down there, so my pubes were in a neat, light brown triangle, which he commented on by saying it looked better. Then I felt a slight sense of panic for a moment. What if my pussy smelled or tasted funny or something? I was certainly very wet, and I was about to stop him when his tongue touched my labia and then flicked up over my clitoris.

It felt like nothing I’d felt before. I’d been masturbating quite regularly, and knew how good clitoral stimulation felt but the warmth of his breath on my pussy and then the sensation of his lips and his tongue pushing between my folds was something completely new. I felt his fingers spread me open and then as his tongue began to lap against my clit, I gave in to the feeling and closed my eyes to let him do whatever he liked.

I lost all sense of time. I slipped into a fantasy world, imagining all sorts of dirty things being done to me, including Howard fucking me and inevitably I felt that throbbing feeling low in my groin, a soft ache, almost painful but intensely pleasurable, building and building until finally it exploded into an orgasm. My back arched upwards and my thighs locked on Howard’s head at first, until I realised then I let him go.

He looked up at me as I recovered from what was my best orgasm ever at that time, and I can still picture his face, grinning like a Cheshire cat with my pussy juices all over his mouth and chin. He touched my clit with his thumb, and I jerked away as it was painfully sensitive.

“Did you like that?” he asked.

“What do you think?” I laughed at him.

Howard hadn’t fucked me, but he’d made up for it with his tongue. All sense of regret at him cumming prematurely disappeared and all I could think of once he’d gone home was the feeling of his tongue exploring my pussy. When I got in bed that night, I couldn’t help but take my pyjama bottoms down and I played with myself until I came again, reliving the experience all over again in my imagination.

I don’t know why Howard and I never went any further than that. We hung around for a while, going on a couple of dates again - the cinema was our favourite thing to do together, but for some reason things never came together to give us the opportunity. When I had the house to myself, which wasn’t very often, he would be busy and vice versa. We saw each other most days, but there were always other people around, so we never did anything more than hang out and play with each other. I wanked him off one night in our local park, and then as we sat talking afterwards, he told me about this other girl who he fancied.

It was very strange because I didn’t feel angry and I didn’t feel betrayed. I really wasn’t that bothered at all and I realised that I didn’t have any feelings for him. It wasn’t even shock or surprise making me emotionally numb or anything like that. Howard and I were more like best friends who fooled around rather than boyfriend and girlfriend, and so after regaining my composure I asked him about her and even ended up giving him some advice on how to ask her out.

So that was the end of Howard and I as a relationship, although we stayed friends for quite a while afterwards, right up to me leaving school in fact, but we never so much as kissed or anything after that night. There weren’t any other boys I fancied or had my eye on at that particular time, so I decided to give up on losing my virginity with boys my own age, and instead began to wonder if I needed someone older and more mature. Someone who knew what he was doing and wouldn’t cum in a matter of minutes.

For a girl of that age with protective, caring parents and who didn’t have a huge social circle, it was difficult to meet older men of course, so it wasn’t until I left school and started studying my ‘A’ Levels at college, that I began to meet people. I wasn’t bothered about having a boyfriend during the period leading up to college. I was quite a responsible (boring) girl, I listened to my parents and the advice of my teachers, and concentrated on my studies and left school with ten GCSEs of a good grade, if not quite all A-stars like my sister had attained, but I was more than happy with my achievements, and it got me into the subjects at college which I wanted to study.

I took English Language, Geography, Music and Agricultural Studies, which was a nice eclectic mix and college was a fabulous experience for me. I had the choice of staying on at school in the sixth form, but I really wanted to study with a more varied pool of students and the school I was at didn’t do agriculture so I used that as an excuse to myself to get out of the All-Girls’ school (which I loved dearly but there were no men!), if I’m being honest.

I did well at college. I studied hard and got good results in all four subjects, but I never went on to university because I met my future husband during this period, and we got married the year I left college and he said he didn’t want me to leave Cheshire to study. He promised that he would look after me - we would buy a house together and settle down and raise a family and then if I wanted to go to university and pursue a career afterwards, he would fully support me and so that’s what happened.

As of now though - ten years later - I’ve never gone to university and while I wouldn’t mind working towards a degree one day, I am quite content with my life as it is. I know I’m not stupid - I don’t need letters after my name to prove it to anyone, do I?

I didn’t lose my virginity to my husband, he was my second lover. I finally managed to get rid of my virgin status during my first year at college. I was seventeen and a half, quite a late age to lose your virginity in today’s world, but I’d learned a valuable lesson during those early failure fumbles with Simon and Howard, and didn’t see the point in sleeping with a man just for the sake of ‘losing it.’ No, instead I would wait for the right man to come along. I wasn’t sure how I’d know he was the right man, but my college friends that I confided in told me that it would just happen when the time was right. I’d meet someone soon enough.

And I did. Mr Right came along during Christmas week in 1999. We were all gearing up for the biggest party in history - the Millennium New Year’s Eve - and there were parties everywhere to go to during the last week in December, indeed the last week of the 1900s - and being a typical student who liked a party, if not a heavy drinker, I intended to go to as many of them as I could. But it wasn’t a crazy student party that I met my first real lover at. Rather, it was a party organised by my father.

My dad was in the local Rotary Club and was also a Freemason, so he had a very varied social circle and knew a lot of the local business owners and their families. Over the years growing up, I had met quite a lot of them, so when I was towed along to one of his get-togethers I knew most of the people there, but this time there was a man I didn’t know but who father seemed keen to introduce me to.

“This is Colin,” I remember him saying, “He’s bought the old dairy...” Father continued on and on, telling me all about how Colin and his family were new to the area, and in particular about his son, who was of an age with me and very well to-do, but I was only half listening because Colin was the most handsome man I had seen for a long time.

He was much older than me, in his early fifties and so actually older than my father, but he had the most piercing, light blue-green eyes I had ever seen and when he caught me staring he gave me a small smile which actually made my heart skip a beat. I don’t know how many women have experienced that flutter when you meet a man who just has that ‘something’ about them that makes them instantly attractive and you feel yourself totally drawn to them, but those of you who have felt it will know what I’m talking about.

Colin was tall and broad, quite powerful looking and dressed in a light grey suit. I remember his shoes were very shiny brown brogues, as I found myself looking down because I was so embarrassed as he took my hand and kissed it.

“Nice to meet you,” he said in a deep, gravelly voice and that was it - I was in love! Well, not quite, but I was swept off my feet by him. Even though his hair was receding, and his face was quite hard-looking there was just something about him that blew me away.

“Hello,” I replied rather lamely. I think I even stuttered.

Colin went on to suggest that I should call around to their house sometime and meet Dean, his son who was looking to make friends. We could drive in to Chester and go to the cinema or something. It was a blatant set-up to try and get us on a date, and I found myself stammering that it sounded like a good idea, just getting more and more embarrassed in the presence of such a beautiful man, and when Colin made his excuses to ‘go and mingle’ I felt a mixture of both disappointment at him leaving me and yet relief at the same time.

“Not like you to be so shy,” I recall father saying, “Don’t worry, I’ve met Dean and he’s a lovely lad.”

I think I nodded and said something back, but all I could think about was the man who was now talking to a tall, elegant brunette at the other end of the room from us. I felt the first twinge of jealousy, despite only having met him once a few minutes ago.

The party was a fun one, with plenty of alcohol to go around, and I made sure I got more than my fair share so with the combination of the music and the general party atmosphere, I was in a fun and flirty mood which is why when Colin asked me if I’d like to join him for a cigarette outside, I didn’t hesitate.

It was terribly cold, I remember being able to see my breath, and I had left my coat hung up inside, and was only wearing a short-sleeved blouse and skirt, so as we began chatting while sharing a cigarette (I was a social smoker at the time) Colin suggested we go sit in his car instead.

His ‘car’ was an impressive, gorgeous, large, black four-wheel drive and as soon as we sat in there, he turned the heating and the music on and turned to look at me.

“Claire, can I ask you a question?” he asked and I nodded after taking a drag on the cigarette. “How the hell is a beautiful young woman like you single?”

My heart quickened a little as I replied, “I don’t know. I’m hardly gorgeous.”

“Are you kidding me? Look at you - pretty, blonde, big boobs, those legs...” I remember he was gesturing with his hand, almost touching me and as he continued to flatter me and express his disbelief that I didn’t have a boyfriend or a queue of boys wanting to date me, I chuckled, enjoying the attention from such a handsome, older man.

“If I was thirty years younger, I’d be begging you for a date every day until you gave in,” he continued, “Wooing you with flowers, chocolates or whatever it took.”

“Were you a bit of a charmer when you were younger?” I asked and Colin smiled at me and told me that he used to be a real ladies man as a young man, and that he’d had a weakness where pretty girls were concerned. Then he leaned in close and confessed, “I still do.”

I recall laughing slightly nervously because his hand was resting on my knee, and he pulled away suddenly, apologizing if he was making me feel uncomfortable. I told him it was fine but he carried on saying sorry, explaining that he found me incredibly attractive and it had been so long since he’d been this close to someone as sexy as me.

Looking back now, it’s so obvious that it was a blatant line, and that the sob story he poured on me about his wife being disinterested in sex was a cleverly concocted routine to get a girl in bed, but I was a seventeen year old girl, and quite a naive one at that, with a belly full of alcohol and sitting in an incredibly handsome and charismatic man’s flashy car, so I had no chance really.

I told him I thought he was lovely, and rambled on to him about how he should leave his wife and find a nice girl who would appreciate him and when he said he was too old, I responded exactly how he probably intended, by saying that he didn’t look his age and that I was quite sure he could have any girl he chose.

I was playing right into his trap, and he sprang it by saying, ‘Prove it then,’ and, ‘What if I chose you?’ and like the silly drunk teenager I was, I leaned in and kissed him. Colin broke the kiss after a while, and pointed out that it probably wouldn’t go down well if my father saw us, and suggested we go for a drive somewhere, so I skipped into the house, collected my coat and told my Daddy that I was heading home early because I’d got a headache before rejoining Colin and heading out into the Cheshire countryside with him.

I knew what I was doing. I wasn’t quite so stupid that I didn’t know what I was getting into, or where this was leading, but I had come this far, and the combination of alcohol and Colin’s dizzying presence had me incredibly horny and by the time we pulled up in a dark country car park my heart was racing not with nerves, but with anticipation.

I remember Colin leaning in to kiss me again, complimenting me on how good a kisser I was, and feeling his hand sliding up onto my breast, then asking me what bra size I was. I was 36D at the time, which he found quite amazing for a seventeen year old and he asked if they were real.

“Of course they’re real,” I laughed, “I’m only seventeen!” and then he asked if it was too much to ask for him to see them. He kept up his lines, saying how his wife was small breasted and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a fuller bust except for in the newspaper, and I fell for it, not objecting as he unbuttoned my top all the way down, and then gazed at my boobs in my bra.

That was when I started getting quite horny, and I knew right then that I wasn’t going to stop him doing anything he wanted. That might have the been the first time I ever felt submissive with a man, I’m not sure, but I didn’t stop him as he lifted the bra up and over my breasts, exposing them to him fully. I reached around my back to take the bra off altogether for him as he first touched them, then cupped and squeezed them with both hands, rubbing his thumbs over my nipples which were incredibly sensitive back then.

“Can I ask a personal question?” Colin asked after another long, passionate kiss. “How many boys have you slept with?”

I don’t really know why I lied and said, “A few,” or why when he pressed me on how many, I told him that I’d been with four boys, I guess it was because I felt foolish at being a virgin at seventeen. It was lucky that I didn’t tell the truth though because he smiled and said, “Good. I couldn’t have done this if you were a virgin.”

That prompted a moment of panic. What if he could somehow tell that I was a virgin? I knew my hymen had broken, but what if he could somehow tell in other ways? Surely, Colin had been with more than his fair share of women in his past, so he would recognise an inexperienced girl, wouldn’t he?

I didn’t get a lot of time to worry because he started kissing me again, and now his hand moved back down to my leg, sliding up my thigh until it rested on the outside of my knickers. I knew I was wet down there, and I felt another moment of worry that he would laugh or something but of course he didn’t. His fingers expertly pulled my panties to one side, and then his finger went inside me.

I don’t know how long he kissed and fingered me for, or exactly when my hand roamed to the front of his trousers, but I know I was rubbing the outline of his hard penis when he finally stopped kissing me and asked me if I’d ever sucked a man.

“Yes,” I said truthfully this time, but then followed it up with a lie by saying, “Lots of men.”

“Ah,” he said, unbuckling his trousers, “You like giving blowjobs?”

“I love it,” I said. What was I thinking? I’d only ever sucked one boy off, and only done it to him twice. I suppose I was just trying to impress Colin but I realised I’d got myself into a bit of a situation when he eased his trousers and shorts down, to reveal a very hard and thick cock. It was probably only average in length, but it was just the fourth one I’d seen and I still wasn’t sure what ‘average’ was so it seemed quite daunting as I lowered my head down and began to kiss the end.

Colin had eased the seats back, so I could make myself comfortable and I began to explore his cock with my tongue, trying to remember and copy the techniques I’d seen pornstars do on the internet, and the older man seemed to be enjoying it, putting his hand in my hair and pushing me deeper onto him. I think I gagged a couple of times, but I daren’t stop, or he’d see me for the inexperienced kid that I was.

His arm reached behind across to play with my pussy while I gave him the best blowjob I could, and he literally had me almost on the edge of orgasm by the time, he finally pushed me onto my back and stripped my knickers down and off my feet.

‘This is it,’ I realised as he positioned himself between my legs, but I didn’t have any time for nerves. One second his cock was slipping up and down between my labia, then the next he just shoved it in. One smooth movement, and then he was deep inside me. I didn’t even get the chance to savour the moment, he put his hands beneath my legs, lifting them and spreading them and then beginning to fuck me right there in the passenger seat.

It was so intense, the feeling of his cock penetrating me, the weight of him above me, his kisses on my neck and the sound of his breathing in my ear and of the impact of our bodies. A steady slap, slap, slap and the slightly embarrassing wet sounds of my pussy as he fucked me.

I was lost in the moment. I don’t know how long it lasted for, I only remember noticing the lights of a car as it went past but I didn’t care and then Colin made me climb into the back so I could get onto all fours for him. I felt very exposed, and he didn’t help by spending several minutes playing with my throbbing pussy from behind, commenting on my ‘sexy arse’ and how great my tits looked hanging down. All I could think about was how fat and wobbly my bottom probably looked and that my breasts more closely resembled udders in this position, but just as I was starting to feel more uncomfortable than horny, Colin shoved his hard dick back inside me, and began to have fast, hard sex with me from behind.

I wasn’t sure if I was enjoying the rough treatment I was getting. He switched between pulling my hair to pushing my face down into the seat as he approached his climax, talking dirty the whole time, but while my mind was undecided, my body was definitely liking it. My clit felt like it was going to explode, and I couldn’t help but reach underneath and within just a minute of rubbing myself, I came loudly.

Colin was calling me filthy names while he fucked me, and my shuddering orgasm only served to make his vulgarities even more profane, but for some reason I didn’t care, in fact it turned me on even more and I think I was actually pushing back on to him during the last couple of minutes until he finally pushed deep into me and I felt him pulsing inside.

“No,” I said suddenly and urgently, and tried to push him away, but it was too late. I felt the cool stickiness of his sperm inside me, dribbling out as I sat up in a panic. “I’m not on the pill,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I suddenly felt sober from the shock of what I’d just done. How could I be so stupid?

“You are kidding me?” Colin said, equally shocked, then he began to apologize for making assumptions but I couldn’t blame him. I’d made out that I was promiscuous and I’d never asked him to use a condom or anything, so of course what else was he to think other than I must be on the pill?

He kissed me and said that I’d be okay. Even though he’d cum in me, the chances of me getting pregnant were slim - and that I shouldn’t worry. He took me home, and I pretended to be fine but as soon as I got to my bedroom, I threw myself on the bed and cried myself to sleep.

The following month was hell, waiting for my period to come. I did several pregnancy tests, which all came back negative but I was terrified until finally at the end of January, I got my period and then the world was all okay once more. I’d learned a valuable lesson though, and I never made such a silly mistake ever again.

The horrible scare wasn’t a nice thing to go through at all, but it hadn’t completely ruined my first time. Even through the stress and worry, I would quite often think of that night in the car, the way he fucked me so roughly, the smell of the sex, the physicality of him and how strong he was. I masturbated numerous times at night in bed, imagining him behind me and the feeling of his cock inside me, using me like the slut that he thought I was.

Colin phoned me regularly, concerned about me, and we met up for a coffee a couple of times, and I even went on a date with his son a couple of weeks after Christmas, who was a nice young man, but it was a total disaster because all I could think of was that I might be pregnant, with his brother or sister growing inside me.

Once a very-relieved Colin found out I wasn’t pregnant, he stopped calling me for a little while, but out-of-the-blue in the middle of February, just before my father’s birthday, he arrived at my front door. He had a card for Daddy but I think that was just an excuse, because once I told him that Daddy wasn’t home, he asked if I’d mind a quick chat, and thinking it was about his son, or something like that, I invited him in and made him a coffee.

Again, in hindsight it is quite obvious that he’d set this up. He didn’t waste any time in getting to the point. He told me that he was sorry he’d put me through the agony of wondering if I was pregnant, but said that he’d really enjoyed that night in the car and he would do anything if he could see me again sometime. He promised to be discreet. He didn’t want a relationship, just some fun, and when I said I wasn’t sure, he even said that he would treat me right and if there was anything I wanted from him, he would buy it for me. He said he would pay for driving lessons, even get me a car. He had lots of money, and would enjoy spending it on me, if I was willing to be his ‘special friend.’

I was shocked and had no idea how to respond to what amounted to being offered money for sex. I didn’t want to offend him, so I told him I would think about it, and to be fair to Colin, he didn’t pressure me at all. He finished his coffee and told me to call him and let him know either way. If I didn’t want to see him again, he totally understood, and he hoped I wouldn’t tell anyone.

The money never tempted me because I’d never been without money. It was something I’d always taken for granted with such a gracious and generous father, but for some reason the fact that someone (especially such a good-looking man as Colin) wanted me so much as to actually buy me gifts caught me off-guard. It was hugely ego-boosting that he must have enjoyed that night so much that he wanted to do it again, and it had only been my first time. I wondered if that meant I was good in bed? I hadn’t even known what I was doing that night. With practice, I’d get even better, right?

But still, I wasn’t going to sleep with someone just for the sake of it. The night with Colin had just happened. The alcohol and the party season spirit had got to me, and I’d got carried away with myself. I’d very nearly screwed my entire life up.

So why, one lonely and boring night just a month or so later, did I pick up my mobile phone and flick through the contacts list to Colin’s number, and press the call button?

To be continued...

A rare hello!

Hi everyone!

Yes, I am alive still and I posted a picture on my Tumblr site to prove it!

I've just replied to as many emails as I can, while I have time, so apologies to you all for the delay. My sister's illness has returned and I have numerous other problems at home at the moment which are taking up most of my spare time, but I have been doing a little writing and having some fun, which I will get around to updating you all on as soon as possible.

Okay, I'm posting chapter 3 of my story next - I hope you all enjoy it!

Lots and lots of love to you all,

xxxxx

Curvy Claire

From My Diaries #2 - "Before Curvy Claire: Part 2"

Finally - Part 2 of my new story... Enjoy!

From My Diaries #2 - "Before Curvy Claire"

Part 2

I’ve always loved horses, and with growing up in a farming family, I was familiar with them from a very young age. Daddy wasn’t a breeder or a trainer, but we had a large L-shaped field on the back of the farm that wasn’t in use because it needed flattening to make it suitable for farming and so instead, he invested in some stables and converted them into a paddock for people to house their horses.

My first ever paid job was mucking out and feeding the ponies and at quite a young age, I expressed an interest in riding. Daddy paid for lessons for his Princess, of course, and I never looked back. I wasn’t quite brave enough for racing or even jumping, but I loved eventing and dressage events and when I was old enough Daddy got me my first horse, a beautiful dun gelding that I promptly named Biscuit. For a long time, Biscuit was my world, but I won’t bore you with my love for horses.

Daddy closed his paddocks when I went to secondary school and we relocated Biscuit and the other horses to another stable which was just a bike ride away. I spent a lot of time between being twelve to sixteen at the stables, helping out for a small amount of money and looking after Biscuit, and it was there that I met Simon and Howard.

Simon was my fantasy boy. He was tall, dark and handsome, a couple of years older than me and I remember thinking he was so mature and totally dreamy. Howard was his best friend who worked there with him at the weekends. He wasn’t quite so dishy, in fact he wasn’t really that attractive at all as I remember (sorry if you’re reading this Howard) but he had something about him. Unlike the friendly and gentlemanly Simon, Howard was sullen and sometimes moody and I don’t know whether it was the ‘Edward Cullen/Mr Darcy’ effect or what it was, but I did find myself something thinking about him too.

If you’ve ever been involved with horses or worked at a stable, you will know that it is far from a glamorous job. I wasn’t a girl that wore a lot of make-up anyway back then, in fact despite having a very womanly figure, I was still quite tomboyish in many ways, but I found myself beginning to dress a little more daringly that what was really appropriate for the tasks I was doing, and making more of an effort with my hair and make-up, just to try and get the two boys’ attention.

It worked. Simon and Howard both started regularly asking me when I was next going to be at the stables, and then they would just happen to be there the same days as me. We got to be friends, but of course I wanted it to be more, and I flirted with them outrageously, having not yet mastered the subtle art of seduction which a woman learns as she gets older. I would quite often ‘accidentally’ leave my top unbuttoned ridiculously low, and wear skirts which was ridiculous in such an environment, but I loved the attention such actions attracted, especially as I didn’t really have any other boys in my life with going to an all-girls’ school.

It was booze again that instigated things - this time it was cheap bottles of Lambrusco rather than white cider, but it had the same effect on me when the boys invited me to a party at Simon’s house one summer evening. The ‘party’ turned out to be just the three of us and Simon’s younger brother, who was roughly the same age as me. We hung out in his back garden - Simon’s parents were away on holiday - then listened to some music, ate some horrible barbecued food as I remember, and drank copious amounts of Lambrusco and beer.

Some of you might be thinking, ‘Weren’t you a bit scared?’ or ‘Are you stupid?’ because it’s obvious what the boys were after, but you have to understand that I knew the boys quite well and trusted them. Perhaps I was naive, but I was always quite desperate to impress and if I’m honest with myself, I really wanted to ‘get off’ with one of them, especially the lovely Simon.

My parents knew where I was, and called me during the evening to make sure I was all right. Daddy told me to be a good girl, he knew the boys quite well too - in fact, he was quite good friends with his father - although he probably wouldn’t have been quite as relaxed if I had told him the truth that I was on my own with them, rather than the lie I spun about it being a party and Sarah and some of my other friends being there with me.

Once Simon had managed to dispatch his little brother to bed, the two boys asked me if I wanted to watch a blue movie, and somehow took my quite non-committal response to be one of eagerness, with the speed that they rustled through some old VHS tapes until they found a suitably dirty one. I began to feel a little uncomfortable, watching a woman on all fours being taken by a man at each end - a new concept for me back then - although the porno film did get me a little bit horny at first, I soon tired of it, a lot quicker than the boys did, both of whom were sitting there with tented jeans. They ended up either side of me on the sofa, and Simon put his arm around my shoulder, which all added together to make me feel a bit nervous.

However, I was slightly excited and giddy too and if it wasn’t for the booze I would probably have run a mile but I didn’t. Simon began to kiss my neck and whisper how gorgeous he thought I was into my ear. It was weird for all this to be going on with Howard sitting on the other side of me, so I didn’t respond straight away and when he put his hand on my bare thigh (I was wearing a short skirt) I pushed his hand away instinctively.

He sat up straight, and I had this horrible conflicting moment where I both didn’t want anything to happen too fast, yet I also didn’t want to offend and lose the chances of what I did want - a bit of a naughty kiss and a sexy cuddle. So, I reacted by putting my arm around his neck and drawing him into a kiss. His face went from one of dismay and disappointment to one of pleasant surprise in an instant, and the second time his hand went on my thigh I didn’t move it.

He didn’t go straight for the kill - his hand just rubbed up and down my thigh a few times, slipping under my skirt without ever going too far, but as we ‘made out’ it eventually moved upwards, hesitatingly stroking across my breasts and then eventually cupping and squeezing one. Now I was really starting to get excited and I whispered into his ear that I wished Howard would go away so we could lie down. He stopped kissing me as we looked at each other for a moment, probably while he decided what to do, then he took me by the hand and led me upstairs.

I let him take me into his bedroom, which I remember was full of football posters and the like - he was a Liverpool fan - and after we barricaded the door shut with a chair and a box, we started kissing on the bed. How exciting is it when you’re that age, to be kissing and ‘fooling around?’ I remember the radio was playing “I’ll Be Missing You,” by Puff Daddy and Faith Evans as he lifted my top up and pulled my bra down. It was the first time that someone other than Toby had seen my breasts and I was so incredibly turned on that I actually pulled his head down for him to suck my nipples.

His hand went under my skirt and pulled down my knickers and my hands were rubbing the front of his jeans and after his fingers had found my wet pussy hole and fingered me for a few heart-racing moments, he helped me to undo his belt and zipper and it was then that I felt my first cock in my hand. He yanked his trousers and boxer shorts down and I just grabbed it and started to stroke it - he must have thought I was a total slut, I was that eager!

He wasn’t as good at playing with my pussy as Sarah had been, he didn’t touch my clit, instead he just finger fucked me as fast as he could, with first one, then two fingers, but to be fair I probably wasn’t giving him the best hand job ever either. I was just tugging on it, but it was my first time doing it, so I shouldn’t be too hard on the young Claire, I suppose.

It was the first penis I’d seen since Toby’s and I remember thinking it was slightly bigger and less hairy. I had fun pulling the skin back and seeing how shiny and slightly wet the end of his cock was. I felt his balls too, something I’d never done with Toby. I thought they felt very strange at the time. Simon was getting incredibly horny, and was pumping his hips in time to my hand stroking his cock, like he was fucking my hand, and seeing how aroused he was getting only served to make me more turned on too, especially with his fingers working my pussy.

As drunk and as turned on as I was, when he tried to get on top of me to fuck me, I stopped him and asked him if he’d got a ‘rubber Johnny.’ The look of disappointment on his face was crushing. I really, really wanted him right then - it was all so perfect - but naive as I might have been, I wasn’t stupid. My parents and my sister had all given me the talk on being sensible when the time came, and as nice a boy as Simon was, I wasn’t going to risk catching something or getting pregnant.

Simon got a little bit upset, as boys do when they’re denied at the last minute, but luckily his little brother came to my rescue by banging on the door and shouting, ‘I know what you’re doing in there!’ in the most annoying voice possible. Simon and I got dressed rapidly and headed outside where Simon beat the hell out of his kid brother, while I made my excuses to go home.

Despite the night ending in a bit of a disaster, I’d had the most brilliant time, and like the silly young girl I was back then, I thought he and I were an item. All sorts of crazy romantic notions went through my head over the next few days, until on my way to my friend’s house the following week, I saw Simon standing at the bus stop with another girl. As I walked over to say hello, they started kissing and I felt my heart break for the first time.

Isn’t it funny how life at that age is so full of extreme feelings? The most intense of loves, and the bitterest of disappointments. Everything is so magnified - you’re feeling emotions for the first time, and they either totally thrill, or they completely crush you.

Simon even looked at me, but didn’t break the kiss, in fact his eyes lingered on me and when I felt my own eyes brimming with tears, I turned and walked away. I’d been on the way to see one of my friends, but for some reason I went instead to the stables.

When I got there, I went and consoled myself by giving Biscuit a brush and filling his trough with fresh water and food and then as fate would have it, I saw Howard sweeping the yard and went out to speak to him.

He could tell I was upset and once he’d done, he asked me if I wanted to go back to his mum’s house for a drink and a chat about it, an offer which I gratefully accepted. His parents were lovely, they made me a cup of tea and a sandwich while I phoned mother to tell her where I was, and once we’d eaten, we went up to Howard’s room where I poured my heart out to him about how Simon, and how betrayed and heartbroken I felt.

Howard was normally the quieter of the two, and because he was normally quite unapproachable and nowhere near as charismatic or friendly as his best friend, I didn’t expect him to be so sensitive but he was. However, I was even more surprised when he quietly told me that he’d gotten really jealous when Simon had bragged about what he’d done with me.

I was angry. Simon had told him? I had to know exactly what had been said, so I asked a quite embarrassed Howard to tell me what he’d bragged about. That was a little insensitive of me, as Howard was basically trying to tell me how much he liked me, but I was fuming at that particular moment. He didn’t want to say, but I insisted and eventually he told me that Simon had boasted of playing with and sucking my ‘big tits’ and that he’d fingered my ‘hairy pussy.’ I cringed slightly at that, but told him to continue and with burning cheeks Howard said that Simon had gone on to say that I’d wanked him off and that he could have fucked me if he’d wanted to, but his little brother had interrupted them and spoiled it.

But then Simon had got off with another girl that he’d fancied for ages, and who was slimmer and prettier than me. He’d even told some of the other lads that he was friendly with that I was now fair game and that they should ‘give me a try.’

I was devastated at that, and Howard began to apologise, saying he shouldn’t have told me - but I thanked him for being honest. He was upset as well and I felt I should say sorry too, for ignoring him. If I’d known what a dick Simon was and that Howard was as nice as he was, I would have gone out with him instead.

I remember realising that I was crying. I don’t know when the tears had started coming - I only knew when Howard reached up and wiped them away. He was staring at me, and it was one of those moments that just happen. Howard leaned in and kissed me and before I knew what was happening, I was kissing him back passionately. We went from kissing to dry humping on the bed, and then I took the initiative and took my t-shirt off. Howard’s eyes went as big as dinner plates when he saw my boobs in my bra. He was already hard, I could feel it rubbing against me through his trousers, but I bet he got even harder. His hands went to my breasts, squeezing them enthusiastically but he didn’t make any attempt to take my bra off.

I’d got trousers on that day and I remember wanting to be really naughty and because he didn’t make any moves at all to progress things, I popped the button and pulled my zipper down and eventually he took the hint, sliding a hand slowly down my belly and into my panties. I shrugged my knickers and trousers down to give him better access to finger me and then I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra for him.

This was it; I was going to lose my virginity. I decided there and then that even if he didn’t have a condom, which he most likely didn’t, I was going to let him have me. Even if it was just to get back at Simon, I didn’t care. I just wanted someone to want me, and Howard obviously did.

After several more minutes of frantic kissing and groping, I was more or less naked, in only my socks basically, so I pulled his shirt off over his head, then undid his trousers and pulled his shorts and trousers down. Of course, Howard was already rock hard, and I remember thinking his dick was huge at the time - it was certainly much bigger than Simon’s and Toby’s, and had very little hair around it at all. I grabbed the shaft and started stroking it, then he pushed my head gently downwards and at first I wondered what the hell he was doing, then it sank in that he wanted me to suck it.

I was so scared, but I took a deep breath and moved so that his cock was right in front of my face. His penis was very hard and felt hot in my hand as I pulled the skin right back and first kissed and then licked the end tentatively. It didn’t smell or taste of anything in particular, I don’t know quite what I expected, but it wasn’t unpleasant at all, so I put my lips over the end and began to slowly suck on it, moving more of it into my mouth as I dared, nervous I might choke on it if I went too fast.

The end was so smooth as I ran my tongue over it, and It felt so wonderful when Howard began to moan and started to move his hips a little. It seemed to grow in my mouth, getting even harder and it was so rewarding to know that I was doing it right - he was obviously enjoying it - so I began to suck it a bit more confidently, trying to remember how I’d seen women do it in the porn videos I’d seen. Howard’s hand stroked the back of my head, then suddenly he announced that I should move - fast - and I realised he was going to ejaculate. Quick as a shot I pulled away and just in time, because a thick stream of white fluid jetted out, landing all over my hand and his thigh.

I was disappointed that he’d finished already - but I also felt a huge thrill at having made a man cum. It was almost like a feeling of pride in myself. I was so happy I felt like I was going to burst! Howard was embarrassed at having cum so soon and apologised for it, but I kissed him and told him it was fine. He cleaned up and we kissed again for a little while before I made my excuses to leave, but not before we made plans to go on a ‘date’ soon. The cinema - on the coming Friday. I couldn’t wait! The kiss at the doorstep as I left was the tenderest, loveliest thing that I’d ever known.

I went home, realising that I’d got a boyfriend. My first boyfriend!

Part 3 following soon... xxx Claire